Optimize your morning for a better, more fulfilling, life.
For the past several months, I have been actively working on improving my productivity levels. It is hard work, but the payoff is really outstanding. It's something that I believe can truly benefit everyone. Let's be real - we are not here for very long, so we might as well make sure we are squeezing the most out of it. I thought it would be beneficial to humanity at large to discuss my findings so far, and provide guidance on how small changes can improve the quality of your life.
This is a huge topic, so I think it would be best to break it down into smaller, more digestible parts. In particular, I would like to begin by focusing on starting the day off on the right foot. A solid morning routine can provide real tangible benefits as it places your brain into a positive mental state that carries over throughout the remainder of the day.
It is important to wake up at the same time every morning, leaving enough time to get the sunshine beaming onto your fresh, dewy, glowing morning skin. I set my alarm for six o'clock on the dot every day. In general, if you are using your phone, try to set your alarm to the radar sound. The high frequency vibrations against your eardrums makes sure that you rise and shine in the most productive manner. Alternatively, something that sounds like an air raid siren could also kick you into gear as a hardworking entrepreneur who is ready to go into battle crafting the perfect Uber for barbers. Unfortunately, that's not me (yet) so I stick to the radar as it reminds to to stay locked on target with my professional goals in the office.
When you turn off your alarm, make sure not to look at any notifications on your phone Yes, even Tinder, as this can throw off your chakras and put you into a negative mind space. Sometimes you will fail, but that is okay! This is something that requires a gentle introduction and a forgiving attitude. In the beginning, just try to keep the crying to a minimum, and roll out of bed whenever.
Once you are up, it's best to celebrate with a small win! A great way to do this is to make the bed right after you get up. I usually don't, but I read in a book once that it is supposed to provide a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. And potentially love.
You are fully awake now, so it is time for some breakfast. Standing in your underwear in the kitchen, you survey what is the best way to get your protein and fiber in. There's a fridge full of yogurt and fruit that you bought earlier this week when you started your health journey. Look at it lovingly and put a pop tart in the microwave.
Running back to the bedroom, you are really late now. But that is okay, you have learned a very important productivity tip: get your clothes ready the night before. Grab a fistful from the crumped pile on the floor, and give everything a whiff to make sure its somewhat not offensive. It's wrinkled, but you've uncovered yet another neat life hack: if you come in wrinkled everyday, no one will care at all.
Time for a quick cleanup! Going into work feeling squeaky clean and minty fresh is an amazing way to launch yourself into a productive mindset. When brushing your teeth remember the trick your dentist told you: mentally sing happy birthday for a few seconds before stopping to remember the despair and dread you need to face for eight hours today: stuck staring at the screen in the dark office where all the blinds are closed because Dave's cat gets migraines if she smells that he has been in the sun too long.
Now we are ready. A quick glance at the clock that you really hope is too fast sends a rush of adrenaline straight to your veins. This is great to get your heart pumping to mitigate the increasing risk of heart disease that peaks around the corner every minute you get older.
A short - or frustratingly long - commute later and you've made it to work! Ready for the day ahead. You even have a stale pop tart for a snack at the end of day waiting in the microwave at home, sitting there forgotten and lonely. But don't feel too sad, the endless beeping of the microwave will ensure the neighbors are all aware of its existence.